that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
im holly from the hills drunk
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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