He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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