He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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