I will die if light touches me.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
