Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
PANTIES FOUND
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