if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
