you win again, gameday.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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