But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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