No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
