So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Randomize
