Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
