yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
