yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
