you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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