I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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