My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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