You're earring is so big in my mouth
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Randomize
