She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
