One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
There's always time for handjobs
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Randomize
