if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
