Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
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