there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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