Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Randomize
