we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
