This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
My dad just said "fuck circus"
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
