i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize