he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
