I think im going to throw up on grandma
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
