$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
