I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
