he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
