Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I puked a lego.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
