You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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