It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
