I got chris browned last night
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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