There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
this hospital has no fireball
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
