I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Nicole vs. Life
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize