so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
