Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
