I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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