Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
