it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
