Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I am one with the molecules
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
