Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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