remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize