In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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