im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
