Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Randomize
