sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Randomize
