Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Randomize
