hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
