She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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