They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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