I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
