Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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