White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
