Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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