Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
