She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
