I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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