East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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