I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
