I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Randomize
